God's Friend

I mentioned being out of town this past weekend. We visited my mother-in-law in Atlanta. While there, we went to her church on Sunday. The message was about friendship. He was mainly talking about friendship in regards to marriage. The text came from Song of Solomon (which I recommend you read if you never have, or if you have, read it again. Can I put this much in parentheses?). What I got out of the message, however, was a little different. God used that man to inform me where our relationship stands (with God, not the man). Ouch. It hurt.

I thought I had it all together. I pray. I read my Bible. I go to church every week. All the right things can be done, but if the motive for doing those things is not right, then they are done in vain. I honestly didn't realize my motives weren't right.

I was doing all of these things so that I can please God, so that He will be happy with me and give me a good life. I often picture God sitting in heaven waiting for me to mess up so that He can strike me down with lightning. You can laugh at me, but I am just being honest.

I learned that although we should have a reverential fear and respect for God, He really just wants to be our friend. When someone is your friend, you spend time with them because you like to be around them, not because of what they can do for you. And you don't hang out because you are scared of what will happen if you don't, unless you are in the mob.

So I am on a mission to make God my best friend. I'm going to pray and do all of the right things, and not because it is what I am supposed to do or because of what it can get me. I'm going to do the right things so that I can enjoy my friend.

Is God your friend? If not, you should make Him your friend. He's super cool.

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Thankful

I am feeling very thankful today.

Psalm 103:12 As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

Isaiah 43:25 I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; And I will not remember your sins.

2 Corinthians 5:21 For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

God chooses not to remember my sins. Every action and thought (past, present, and future) that is not pleasing to Him, He doesn't hold against me. Jesus took on all my sins so that I can be in right standing with my heavenly Father.

I don't have to sacrifice an animal so that my sins are covered. The Ultimate Sacrifice not only covers my sins, but He cleanses me of my sins.

For this I am so very thankful.

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Flesh vs Spirit

Galatians 5:19-21 tells us that the works of the flesh are adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like.

Am I guilty of some of these sometimes? Yes.

Galatians 5:22-23 tells us that the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

Do these words describe how I always act? No.

How do I stay away from the works of the flesh and make the fruit of the Spirit evident in my life? I need to watch what is going on in my mind.

Romans 8:5-6 says For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

When I wake up in the morning am I thanking God for another day or am I worrying about what I'm going to eat for breakfast?

When it is the end of a busy day will I choose to watch television or will I read my Bible and pray?

If I never spiritually feed my mind, then it will be evident in my actions. If I notice Chuck (my hubby) still hasn't taken out the trash like I asked him to, and I just got done praying, then I am more likely to respond with a kind and gentle word instead of an outburst of wrath.

Balance is they key here. I can't go a whole day without a single thought of God and expect to treat others the way I should. Being out of balance in this area has a negative effect on my relationships. Balance is what I need because God has let some special people be a part of my life.

Just in case you didn't know the exciting news, tomorrow is my birthday! Therefore, I am open to any love or kind words you might have for me. :-)

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How We Survive Marriage - Part 1

I'm going to start a couple series here on my blog. There are some things I have been wanting to post about but the topics cover too much for just one post.

Can you guess what this series is about? Marriage you say? Why how did you guess that? You're just so stinkin' smart. :)

So here we go. I was looking through our wedding photos the other day. It made me realize just how far my husband and I have come in the past few years regarding our relationship. We were pitiful in the beginning. We used to fight all the time. Even before we got married, while we were going through pre-marriage counseling, I called numerous times to cancel the counseling sessions because we were calling off the wedding. I look back and laugh now, but at the time it wasn't fun. We have learned so much through this marriage process. We are by no means anywhere near being experts at marriage, but I do feel like we have either learned or been taught by others many things that are essential to a lasting marriage. Marriage is one of satan's favorite things to attack, because it is symbolic of Jesus and His Church. Divorce has a negative effect on all of those involved, but it takes work and compromise to avoid it. In this series I am going to share what we have learned to keep us away from divorce.

Let me start by saying that I do believe there are times when divorce is the best answer. I do believe that God can change anyone to make a marriage last, but sometimes people don't want to change. If a man is abusing his wife and children, mentally or physically, with no remorse or attempt to change, then unfortunately divorce is the solution to protect the wife and kids' well being.

The first thing that I believe is essential to a lasting marriage is making God a priority. Psalm 127:1 says "Unless the Lord builds the house,They labor in vain who build it." I've learned that God has to be at the center of our marriage for it to work. Any time there is discontentment between my husband and me, I try to take a step back and examine my relationship with Jesus, and nine times out of ten, it is not our marriage relationship that needs work. If my relationship with God is where it should be, then usually all my other relationships easily fall into place. I don't mean that there won't ever be any problems, but if I am in proper relationship with God, then when those problems do arise, they don't have a lasting negative effect.


Ephesians 6:12 says "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places." Most people don't realize how real the spiritual world around us is. I've learned the more we pray together, the better we get along. I firmly believe our spiritual lives effect every other aspect of our lives. If we take care of our spiritual needs first, then the other areas of our lives will more easily fall into proper alingnment.

More to come.........

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I Don't Feel Like It

I feel like I'm in a rut. I'm not sure how to get out. Actually I do know how to get out, but I don't feel like it.

I don't feel like cleaning my house.

I don't feel like teaching Jazlyn anything.

I don't feel like doing the dishes.

I don't feel like cooking.

I don't feel like picking up toys.

I don't feel like praying.

I don't feel like reading spiritual stuff.

I don't feel like spending time with God.

That last sentence is my real problem, letting my feelings dictate what I do. I need God in my life. If he's not a priority in my life then I get in a rut. I need that fellowship with him to be a good wife and mother. Sometimes it seems like it is just easier not to take the time to read my Bible. Sometimes it seems like it is easier not to to take the time to pray, and instead just go about my day.

That's when the rut comes. Every time I begin to feel this way, it is the same reason behind the cause of it. God speaks to us everyday. If we are too "busy," or just don't feel like hearing from Him, we become more and more distant from the One we need most. This results in the rut. So....

I don't feel like praying, but I'm going to.

I don't feel like reading the Word, but I'm going to.

I don't feel like communing with God, but I'm going to.

Nehemiah 8:10 says "For the joy of the Lord is your strength." Fellowship with God brings joy. Joy brings strength. If I spend time with Him, even though I don't feel like it, He will give me strength to get through the day.

Is there anyone else that can relate to being in this rut?

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Why God Why?

My heart is heavy tonight. We visited a couple who have been married for almost three years. Last year their first child, a son, only lived for a few hours before going to heaven. This is a loving, sweet couple who love the Lord. They desperately want kids. It's not fair that children are born everyday to parents who don't even want them. Then this couple, who would have been are going to be great parents, had such a small amount of time with their son. It doesn't make sense.

I don't think I have ever shared this on my blog. Before Isaiah was born, we lost a baby when I was ten weeks pregnant. That was one of the most painful things I have ever gone through. Even as I look back now I don't understand why God let that happen to us. I do know, however, that there was a reason for our suffering. Maybe we will know what that reason was before we die. Maybe not. I questioned God then more than I ever have. I still trusted Him and believed in Him, but I wanted answers. I wanted God to tell me why He let that happen. He never did tell me. All He told me was to trust Him.

I know that God's ways are incomprehensible to us, and I know that Jeremiah 29:11 is true. I know that God always wants what is best for us. What we think is best isn't always what He thinks is best at the time. I don't understand why God won't give this couple a baby now. I guess it's not my place to know. It's my place to pray and trust Him.

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I can't do it all by myself

No, I'm not talking about my husband not helping me around the house. He does help me out when I demand ask him to. I'm talking about me trying to live my life without God's help.

God had to get me to this point in my life for me to realize just how much I need Him. Sure, during tragedies and disappointments, I've needed Him. It's easy to see how much I need Him during those times. What I'm learning now is how much I need Him everyday.

Leading up to my last days on my job I thought that I was about to have it made. No more getting up at 5:30 every morning. No more feeling rushed to get dinner fed to my family before starting the cycle over again the next day. I thought now that I was going to be a stay at home mom, my life was going to be easy.

Lately it was seeming as though I was struggling with everything. Every time I had to do the dishes or laundry I felt like I was having to put forth all of my effort just to do a simple five minute task. It was taking everything I had just to make it through each day. During one of my woe is me pity parties, I realized that I'm not letting God truly lead my life. I'm not supposed to do all this on my own. In John 15:5 Jesus says "for without Me you can do nothing." 2 Corinthians 12:9 tells us that God's grace is sufficient for us, and His strength is made perfect in our weakness. I was trying to do everything in my own strength instead of relying on God's strength for me each day. I need Him everyday in everything I do in order to be a good wife and mother.

I'm learning a lot during this time in my life. I feel like I've grown more spiritually in the past six months than I have in the past few years. Now that I'm not so busy, I've been able to do a lot of self examining and I'm more open to hearing what God has to say about me. His lessons are not fun during the learning process, but I'm thankful that He loves me enough to keep teaching me.

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Book Review - This Little Prayer of Mine

I know it's been a few days since we've "talked." I've been enjoying some much needed family time at home. We celebrated Valentine's Day by cooking a meal together, complete with dessert. It was a good day.

Now on to other things. I recently received the book This Little Prayer of Mine from the author, Anthony DeStefano. The book is endorsed by The National Day of Prayer, Danae Dobson (daughter of Dr. James Dobson), and Bernice King (daughter of Martin Luther King Jr.). This is a new favorite in our house.

First off, the illustrations are awesome. I love a beautifully illustrated book, and this book is beautiful. More importantly, the book is all about teaching children to pray. The book goes through many different things that a child might pray about: asking God for comfort when sad or scared, being dependant on God for direction down the right path, asking for forgiveness for doing wrong, being thankful for all that God has given, asking God to help us show His love to others, knowing that through trusting God we can do anything, and the assurance of God's love.

Teaching children to have their own relationship with God is important. Prayer is how they develop that relationship. This book is a great example to kids of how to maintain that relationship at a young age through prayer.

Guess what?! The book goes on sale today! I highly recommend you adding this to your library.

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Praying Like Breathing

My husband and I are reading a book right now called The Power of a Simple Prayer by Joyce Meyer. We have only read a couple chapters, but I have already seen a change in my life after implementing what we've read.

Ephesians 6:18 says to "pray always" and 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says to "pray without ceasing." I've known these verses for a long time but I have never truly put them into practice. I've always had the mindset that I don't have enough time to pray all day. I've learned from this book just how powerful a simple prayer is (hence the name of the book). Prayer is not only effective if a person is on his/her knees with his/her eyes closed spending at least fifteen minutes in prayer. This season in my life that is usually not possible anyway. A person can say an effective five word prayer  while standing with his/her eyes wide open. God looks at the heart of the one praying. When we speak from the heart, whether it is fifteen or five thousand words, God hears us. 

Instead of waiting to pray when I have time, I have been spending my whole day praying. While I am making the kids' breakfast I thank God for another day with my family. As I go throughout the rest of the day, while folding laundry, picking up toys, etc., I let God know that I am dependant on Him to be a good wife and a good mother and I am constantly thanking Him and asking Him for help as I go from one task to another. Just a simple I love you Lord means a lot more to Him than I think we realize.

The whole atmosphere in my house has changed since I began saying these short simple prayers all day. I've been getting more accomplished than before. I believe that keeping this constant communication with God makes me more sensitive His promptings, letting me know what I should or should not do as I go throughout the day.

If you are constantly struggling just to make it through the day everyday, try this. It works.

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He Knows

I had a "revelation" recently. It came from a scripture that I have heard many, many times. It is something that I already knew, but I just didn't "get" yet. Does that make sense? Good. I thought it did. It is a very simple scripture, but it just recently took on new meaning in my life.

1 Samuel 16:7 says that "man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” I have always known that God knows everything about us, because He knows everything in the world, etc., but it really hit me that He knows everything. He knows every little thought that goes through my mind and every word that I speak, even when no one else is around. When my husband leaves his dirty clothes in the middle of the floor, and I want to knock him upside his head (not that I would really think that or anything), He knows. When Jazlyn knocks her drink over at the table, and I get upset with her for doing that again, He knows. When our neighbor knocks over our trash can, and I think of ways for revenge, He knows. When a friend gets the nice house that I've been wanting, and I get jealous instead of being happy for her, He knows. If I do something nice for someone just so that someone else will notice how nice I am, instead of doing it out of pure love, He knows. God. Knows. Everything. 

So I have been doing some heart examining, since I am now realizing that God know what's in there. If you want to know what is in your heart, then listen to what you are saying. Matthew 12:34 says "For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." Sometimes I am not as patient with my family as I should be, and I say things that aren't exactly pleasant. This day and going forward I am paying attention to what is in my heart. I want a pure heart that is pleasing to God, all the time. I want my thoughts and the words that come out of my mouth to please Him. I'm thankful that with His help my heart can improve. I'm even more thankful that when I fall short, he is still there with open arms to get me back on track.

~Melissa

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Trusting God

Last night it stormed bad here. All night Jazlyn was worried about her Daddy, since he was at work. She didn't just say something about it once. She went on and on and on all night about if her Daddy would be ok out in the storm. Can you tell she loves her Daddy?

Jazlyn went through something last year where she was constantly saying she was scared. We taught her when she was scared to say "God, protect me." So last night I let her know that God would protect her Daddy during the storm.

My conversation with her got me thinking. God doesn't always do what we want him to do. Small children die. Parents with small children die. We don't always understand why some things happen. What we do know is that God's ways are not our ways nor are His thoughts our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8). What He does might not always make sense to us, but He tells us to trust Him and lean not on our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). While we are worried about our own little world, God's plans concern far more.

The prime example of this is Jesus. Jesus tried to tell his disciples about what was going to happen to him, but they were not trying to hear it. They did not believe that this man, who they saw perform countless miracles, would be killed. They did not understand God's plan.

Is God able to protect us? Of course. That, however, might not always be His plan. God protected Daniel from the lions, but Job lost almost everything he had. God did end up giving Job back twice as much as he had before, but Job couldn't have made it while everything around him was fading away, unless he trusted God.

I believe that all of this was brought to my attention for a reason. My new goal for Jazlyn is to teach her to trust and to love God no matter what. The earlier she learns that in life, the easier her life will be. Life might not always make sense, but God tells us that all things work together for good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28). That verse says all things. Not just the good things or the bad things in life, but all things.

~Melissa

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My Heart's Desires

Psalm 37:3-5 Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.

About two years ago, while I was still working, I was feeling very overwhelmed. At the time I only had Jazlyn, but my husband was working and going to school. On top of that, our work schedules were never the same, so we hardly ever got to see each other. I also felt like I was missing Jazlyn grow up.

I laid in bed one night and was just a mess. I told God that if I couldn't stay home then I didn't want anymore kids. I'm sure He was like "Oh, really?" You know, since I have complete control over when we have kids. Seriously though, I was letting God know what my heart's desire was. Not that He needed me to tell Him, but I think God wants us to be honest with him and speak what is on our hearts. My honest truth was that I didn't want to have another child and have to miss that child's first step or first word because he or she was in daycare all day every day.

After that night I went on with my life. But you can be sure that I kept letting God know that I wanted to be able to stay home, especially when I found out about Isaiah. Don't get me wrong. I didn't have a miserable job that I absolutely hated. I actually liked my job most of the time, but I missed my family.

Once Isaiah was getting ready to make his entrance into the world, my hubby did have a different job making more money. I still didn't feel though that I could quit my job. I kept crunching the numbers trying to make it work, but I just didn't see how it was possible. I did feel, however, that God was telling me that I should quit my job. It did make some sense, since daycare would have been so expensive with two kids, but I still didn't see how it would work on one income.

Well, you probably already know that it did work. I kept praying about quitting my job to make sure that it was really what I was supposed to do. Even after Isaiah was born (I did work a couple months after he was born), I kept going over the numbers over and over again. I still didn't see how we would make it. I feel this was my first big faith test. I still felt like God was telling me to quit my job even though I didn't think it would work out. I finally listened and quit.

We have been absolutely fine. It actually hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. I thought there would be times where we would have to live on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, which I was willing to do. That has not been the case at all. God has given me wisdom on handling our finances. He has truly taken care of us. We have more food in our house than we did while I was working. We were even able to do some Christmas shopping!

My life is proof that the above verses are indeed true. Why don't you go read them again? You know you want to.

~Melissa


*Disclaimer-Let me clarify that I am not saying that God will give you whatever you want. He will give you your heart's desires in His timing, if they are in His will, and if you trust and have faith in Him.

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