>> Sunday, February 21, 2010
My heart is heavy tonight. We visited a couple who have been married for almost three years. Last year their first child, a son, only lived for a few hours before going to heaven. This is a loving, sweet couple who love the Lord. They desperately want kids. It's not fair that children are born everyday to parents who don't even want them. Then this couple, who
would have been are going to be great parents, had such a small amount of time with their son. It doesn't make sense.
I don't think I have ever shared this on my blog. Before Isaiah was born, we lost a baby when I was ten weeks pregnant. That was one of the most painful things I have ever gone through. Even as I look back now I don't understand why God let that happen to us. I do know, however, that there was a reason for our suffering. Maybe we will know what that reason was before we die. Maybe not. I questioned God then more than I ever have. I still trusted Him and believed in Him, but I wanted answers. I wanted God to tell me why He let that happen. He never did tell me. All He told me was to trust Him.
I know that God's ways are incomprehensible to us, and I know that Jeremiah 29:11 is true. I know that God always wants what is best for us. What we think is best isn't always what He thinks is best at the time. I don't understand why God won't give this couple a baby now. I guess it's not my place to know. It's my place to pray and trust Him.