How We Survive Marriage - Part 2

>> Monday, March 29, 2010

If you missed part one you can read that here.

This week's survival tip is an easy one, yet I believe it is one that many people need to hear.

Don't take your spouse for granted.

My husband and I had a blow out last week. I should have known. I start a marriage series here, and all of my ideas of our happy, strong marriage are thrown out the window. We are fine now, but things were ugly in these parts for a couple days. I'm not going to share any details of our spat, but I am going to tell what I learned from it.

I learned I've been taking my husband for granted. Taking your spouse for granted is not a good thing for a marriage. It only has negative outcomes and should be avoided. The small things that I used to do to show my love and affection had stopped. How I treated my husband was not a thought on my mind because I was too busy with everything else. His feelings were not a priority in my life because I had the mindset that he would always be here and I have the rest of my life to show him my love. Poor guy.

Something that can lead to taking someone for granted is letting negative thoughts consume your mind. It is so easy to get caught up in life and only think about the negative things about one's spouse. I am so very guilty of this. Any married person can think of things he/she doesn't like about his/her spouse. Any married person can also think (I hope) of things he/she does like about his/her spouse. Always focusing on the negative will result in taking that person for granted. Imagine your life without your spouse. Let your mind go there. Think of all the things your spouse does for you and your family. Imagine that suddenly being taken away. It makes you appreciate your spouse a little bit more, huh?

Our little (big?) spat was good for us. It put all of our feelings about every little thing on the table. It made us stronger. A little fight every now and then can do some good, as long as it doesn't break you.

Do something special for your husband (or wife) and let him (or her) know how much he/she is loved and appreciated.
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